Where I want to be and where I am actually at

Another day without seeing a course and another day of doing nothing. I normally write about events that come to mind, this blog post had no events to talk about. I think that last post really says what I want to say. This whole coming a week early to hangout did not work just like the rest of this whole leave thing. I really should not have come with Kyle to IL but should have waited and came with Joe, Michelle, and Sarah. The Bone family is nice but the fact today all we did was nothing which really puts a damper on the leave thing. I have had a bad feeling that this was going to be not a good leave when I choose to have Kyle pay for my plane ticket. I was never informed in what was going on and had to get a new plane ticket which cost me some money that I should saved. I know that Kyle wants me in his wedding but sometimes you should not get what you want.

But, to put blame where it lies, I am the one to blame. I should have taken what I have had and went home for my sisters graduation and left back for England. I should not have had Kyle pay my plane fares. I am still not a fan of weddings. Anything with a large crowd of people I do not know, I tend to stand back and watch. I do not talk because people really do not care about what I care about. I think this is I never had any friends going through middle school and high school. In fact that is why I hated my high school so much. So instead of hanging out with people, I would occupy my time in different ways, for example disc golf. I have been lately trying to improve my disc golf playing by heading to the course. No one seems to care. I might be pushing the issue to much but I want to do something. That is the only reason I want to play disc golf here is because I am bored. What I really need is a vehicle and Tomtom. So more and likely on Saturday night, I would rather be disc golfing then being at a wedding.

Also this whole wedding thing is making not getting married. Just let me go off on this tangent. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM??????? It is one stupid day that shows that 2 people are now 1. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO PERFECT BECAUSE IT WILL NOT BE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would might try to kill myself again if I have to add a wedding to my already stressful life.

Any who, I do wish I had a close friend that was kind close in relation of distance, ie living in England. But because of the childhood I choose to destroy and the lack of social skills need to react to large groups/new people, I will be one not having fun in the states like always.

Now I need to tell this to Kyle and Elizabeth. That should be fun. Stay tune for more.


~mike is out.